DREAMS, REALITY AND NIGHTMARES

      For many who come to the nether regions of  Thailand, it all starts as a dream come true. There is either a girlfriend or wife half their age, beer, sun and leisure time in abundance. It is what most of us dream of in our daily grind in the west. The dream and magic will soon wear off and the reality will settle in. To some it will become a nightmare,  they can not leave.
      Enter any western bar in Issan and you will hear non stop complaints from many of the expat community. Too hot, too many bugs, the Thais can't get anything right, life is hell with out this or that. These are men who are trapped, they have no life in their home countries to return to. Their children have grown up, ex wives don't care to see them again. All that awaits is a meager existence on a tiny pension or investments, a small flat or appartment. Living in a cold and friendless country. All will say they have lives back home, but they know their friends and their old lives have gone and there is nothing to return to. Many will turn to the bottle to fill in their days and to shorten the number they have left.
      We people of the west have spent our lives setting goals, working to achieve things and it has all come to nothing in the end. We can not just live in the moment, we live for tomorrow. The  waiting to die with no reason for existence is a nightmare to many. Some rural expats turn to small scale farming or businesses to fill the void in their daily lives. This keeps them occupied, but as it is not their main income, the need to succeed is not there. It is a hobbies, for some it is all they need, for others it will never be enough.
      Over the years I have met a few westerners that had made the switch from goal orientated to the Thai way of just living day by day. They seldom go to western bars or seek westerners out, they just live and are content with their lot These people are few and far between. Mores the petty I can not claim to have made the jump yet. I am always on the look out for something new to try. Losing our 9 to 5 mentality is a lot harder then most would think. When you wake each morning and there is nothing that needs done and no where you need to be, your day has little meaning.





      2011 A BAD YEAR FOR RUBBER AND A POOR YEAR FOR ME.


      At the start of this year we had plans, we were going to be kicking goals. The money would finally be flowing in, at a rate that would allow us to expand, finish the house and live the good life all round. Holidays for the kids to the beach another car etc. Little did I know that the weather and the financial markets would conspire to throw a monkey wrench in.
      As I wrote in an earlier post, the rains came and did they come You can't tap rubber in the rain and it just didn't stop. By the end of the wet season a great part of Thailand was under water, even Bangkok. The wettest year in 40  or 50 years I believe. Our rubber out put was well down on what we had planned, then when the rains stopped the Greeks were found to be broke. This set off a chain of events, next we know not only are the Greeks broke, but most of the western world. As the rubber began to flow the commodity prices [ rubber ] began to fall. It dropped over $2 US dollars a kilo. Things were not good, my wife understood what was happening in the world, but her family just could not understand that the world outside was what governed our lives.
      Somethings would have to go and cut backs were needed to get us through the trees dorment season. The biggest single luxury expense is the car. We could trade down to a smaller sedan and cut the payments in half.  When I said this, the mother in-law began to cry, the father in-law wanted to know why I hated them. Here is what makes western thought different than that of rural Thais. To me better to lose the big car and have food, milk for the kids. To the in-laws it would be such a loss of face in the village, they would be disgraced in the eyes of all. Arguments began, the wife was caught in the middle. The Thai way is the father is head of the household and he should make the decisions.. His first try was that I gave him more trees and he would make the payments. A child's or perhaps an international bankers logic. I give him money from trees that will not be producing  and he will pay with the non existence money. After that it went down hill, mostly ideas of living on sticky rice, frogs and bugs. When I had had enough I said, you want to keep the car, it's yours. You would have thought he had won a million dollar lottery, smiles all round, he couldn't wait to tell all that the big black SUV was now his, not mine. To make the payment his Government salary and the sons Government salary will be used. Between them they earn just enough to cover the payments and will live on sticky rice and frogs. We still have use of the car, as it is really the household car. Nothing will change, I will still ride my motorbike and drive the pickup truck and we will use the car when we go away. Next year if the rubber prices go up we will buy a small sedan for taking the kids to school and shopping and the father in-law will live on the bread line to make the payments, I will of cause help out if we have the money. Think this just goes to show, what's important to some is not that important to others.
      I believe in the earlier post on buying the car. The father in-law had pledged to pay his salary toward the repayments, if I allowed him to tap 400 trees and keep the money. Never a penny was paid, when the arguments started over the car, I of course said if the father in-law had paid what he was meant to, there would not have been a problem. Again we see the child like way of seeing things, he honestly believes he is head of the household and not only should the car have been put in his name, but all the rubber money should go to him to, dispense as he sees fit. Some may think this is a western rip off, but it is the way it is done here. The brother in-law, who works as our head tapper was living with his wife's family before. They are a big time rubber and palm oil family in Krabi. Now he had to work 6 days a week and received no wages. His father in-law would feed them and give him a few dollars [ Baht] every now and then.
      It is often said if you marry a Thai girl the closest you want to live to her family is in another country. It maybe true for many and it may explain why so many Thai husbands pack up and leave their wives and kids. It is an extended  family system and the father is head of the family. Times are changing, but in the small rural areas the ways of the rest of the world are still a long way away.